Earnest Alert!!!!
Translation: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Cute, The Heart? She Whistles, 54 Below and more....
My friends are texting in a group chat about how they are starting their substacks, and honey, I’ve been on this for years. Let’s ignore the fact that I haven’t used it in a meaningful way since early 2021 when I first launched it as an ode to Barbra Walter’s Most Fascinating People (may her memory be a blessing…). It’s actually completely okay, normal, and safe that I use it as a way to promote my upcoming shows. I sincerely hope that my blonde friends starting Substacks find immense success and keep up with theirs for at least three months (Talk To Tessa is actually already live if you want to sign up, fingies crossed she sticks to it <3). Trigger warning: I actually do love writing and am so glad I get to do it so often for work, even if I do not understand the things I get to write about for work. Today I wrote about Propane Influencers; I’m an eco-journalist/barely-alt-comedian! But you came here for an important reason, you came to see which shows I have scheduled too-close-to-one-another and am anxious about ticket sales. I will not disappoint you!
EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CUTE - 1/27 at 10PM
I have promoted this show to this 60-person email list before, but this time imagine I am a DNC email from Nancy Pelosi, and I am desperate. Here is the first earnest alert: it is an unbelievable gift that my best friends are also the funniest people on this planet. Whenever we talk on the phone or text, I am being given a private show that you will never be privy to, sorry playa! I am so proud/anxious to be bringing our show to LA, where we are all equally rude/adorable. Brian Bahe and Caleb Hearon are our special guests this time which is actually perfect because they are (earnest) inspirations to me! Also, former Substacker Brittney Badduke is producing the show, so you have that LA surfer-girl seal of approval. If you live in LA, please come! It will be fun in a way you could never imagine unless you have seen us perform before, in which case, you definitely can imagine how fun it will be. If you don’t live in LA, but you have friends in LA, send them to our show! My dad will be in the audience so if that is a draw for you, let me know.
SOPHIE SUCKS FACE - 2/1 at 7:30PM
Yet another show I’ve written about, yet another person I am so earnestly obsessed with. In many (few) ways, next week is my residency at Dynasty Typewriter starting with me guesting again on Lovett or Leave It again on the 26th, and finishing with the West Coast premiere of Sophie Sucks Face. Theatrely gave our little incest musical a rave review, and I couldn’t ask for a better endorsement. Sophie has RACHEL BLOOM literally opening for HER! Get a ticket before we embark on our world tour.
THE HEART? SHE WHISTLES LIVE AUDIOBOOK RECORDING - 2/4 at 7PM
Every day I wake up and write in my gratitude journal, “thank god I have so many funny blonde women best friends.” In many ways, Allie was the first and the one I am most inseparable from (not to pit women against each other, but I do do that all the time). We are dusting off our old audiobook The Heart? She Whistles to present a second volume, fully improvised at BCC. This evening will guaranteed change your life as it is a self-help book, but also, as Allie and I have been wanting to do this for over a year and now are finally doing it. Chica Nation, Rise!
COMEDIANS EARNESTLY SINGING MUSICAL THEATRE - 2/10 at 9:30PM
The event of the century is back. Ok wait, I feel so arrogant about the way I phrased that, but I should feel confident in how amazing this show was last year… Some of the best comedians I know are going to be belting (or head voice, chest voice, mixing, etc) their hearts out in less than one month. I am going to be singing a Jason Robert Brown song, but I won’t say which one because I haven’t decided. This year’s medley is going to reverse climate change. You have to come not because I am like desperate to sell tickets (I am! I love my life!) but because I think you need it for your… soul.
OK, THAT’S ALL! SOMEDAY ALL MY SHOWS WON’T BE BACK-TO-BACK-TO-BACK-TO-BACK!
THANKS! BYE!