Olivia Rodrigo
I sat down with singer of the hit song "drivers license" to talk about the NYC Mayoral Race, climate change, Taylor Swift, and so much more.
A few weeks ago, I sat down with rising star Olivia Rodrigo. Our far-reaching conversation covered the NYC Mayoral Race, climate change, Taylor Swift, and so much more. She is a star whose international power we will feel for decades to come.
ZS: Olivia! Such a huge fan!
OR: Thank you so much for having me, Zach!
ZS: So, you are having quite the month!
OR: You definitely could say that. It’s been a huge rush.
ZS: Did you drive here?
OR: I did, yeah!
ZS: Wow, incredible that you drove all the way from California to Brooklyn to do this interview with me. So, gimme the goss.
OR: Look, I’m not trying to -
ZS: How hard was the driver’s test?
OR: Oh, um. It was a few months ago; you know that? I wrote this song like six months ago. But it was good! I mean, I had a lot of practice.
ZS: My mom wouldn’t practice with me. One time I was driving with her, and we got like a few minutes away from my house, and she was crying so hard that she made me get out of the car. She took over driving, and I had to walk home.
OR: Oh my god, is that true?
ZS: Yeah, it is. I’m a really bad driver. I really did not get enough practice before getting my license.
OR: I’m… sorry?
ZS: It’s okay I live in New York now, so I rarely have to drive.
OR: I really love New York City.
ZS: Who will you be endorsing for mayor?
OR: What?
ZS: Who will you be endorsing for the New York City mayoral race?
OR: Oh, well. I’m not old enough to vote, and I don’t live in New York, so-
ZS: But you are really influential, I mean. I think people would love to hear who you are endorsing! You’re new to this whole press thing but political endorsements are standard fare for any interview.
OR: Um, okay! Who’s running?
ZS: Andrew Yang, Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams, NYC Comptroller Scott Stringer, former Citigroup executive Raymond McGuire, New School professor Maya Wiley and Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa-
OR: Oh, my friend Cam is really a big supporter of Andrew Yang, so I would say him!
ZS: I know who your friend Cam is. We follow each other on Twitter. He’s the hottest March For Our Lives kid.
OR: You think?
ZS: Well, do you think? Fans sometimes think there’s something between you.
OR: No, there isn’t. He’s just a great friend.
ZS: Totally. Do you listen to all of your friends’ political endorsements?
OR: I mean- I trust Andrew Yang. This is my opinion.
ZS: So you aren’t gonna do your research on any of the candidates before endorsing?
OR: I mean, you just told me to endorse someone.
ZS: I know but you should really be careful. Think of the headlines “CHART SMASHER OLIVIA RODRIGO SMASHES ENDORSEMENT OF ADOLF HITLER.”
OR: Wait, what? I did not endorse Hitler.
ZS: No, I know that but what IF you did? What if I told you to endorse Hitler?
OR: I am not going to endorse Hitler.
ZS: Well, of course not; he’s dead. But what about Duterte?
OR: I am not sure who that is. I’m so sorry, but I didn’t think this interview would be political?
ZS: I mean, this is standard pop-culture fare.
OR: Ok, so who is Duterte?
ZS: Well, he’s the president of the Philippines.
OR: Oh- my dad is Filipino.
ZS: So, do you know who Duterte is?
OR: Oh, I think my dad has mentioned him. Isn’t he like fascist?
ZS: Some would say that, yes.
OR: Ok, so I am definitely against him.
ZS: You’re an anti-fascist?
OR: Yes. Now you’re gonna try to get me to say I’m Antifa, aren’t you?
ZS: No, that would be silly. Antifa isn’t real.
OR: Right. Can we get back to talking about the song?
ZS: Totally. You used a sound from your mom’s car in the recording of the song? How was that?
OR: It was a super fun personal touch that really just makes the song feel like home. It’s really weird listening to my mom’s car noises on the radio from her car, you know?
ZS: Totally, very Christopher Nolan.
OR: Right.
ZS: What does your mom drive?
OR: I think it’s a Toyota RAV4?
ZS: So, not a hybrid?
OR: No, it’s an SUV. But, when I get my own car I’d definitely love to get a hybrid or an electric car.
ZS: Interesting, so you’d say you are pro-Green New Deal?
OR: Oh totally. I went as AOC for Halloween.
ZS: So cute - once I went as a fern for Halloween, and everyone thought I went as weed, and I hadn’t even smoked weed at the time, and I was so embarrassed and thought I was going to get kicked out of school.
OR: Oh, I’m so sorry.
ZS: That’s okay - speaking of high school, can you tell my readers about what’s next for NiNi on High School Musical: The Musical: The Series?
OR: I can’t say a ton, but I can say she has a tough decision to make coming up!
ZS: Whether or not to have an abortion?
OR: Oh, god, no.
ZS: Are you not pro-choice?
OR: No, I am. But if you remember the cliffhanger of S1?
ZS: Why did you say “god, no?” You sound like Amy Coney Barrett.
OR: Wait, I seriously am not. I just- was caught off guard.
ZS: Moving on- I mentioned it briefly. But this is your first real interview since the song’s release. Let’s talk about all the drama surrounding “drivers license.”
OR: I take a lot of inspiration from Taylor Swift, all of her music is real emotion but all of her music is not about a specific man.
ZS: Man? What about Dianna Agron?
OR: What?
ZS: Do you think Taylor Swift fucked Dianna Agron?
OR: I mean- she has every right to if she wants to, but I am not gonna comment-
ZS: So rude of me, it was the other way around. Dianna probably fucked Taylor. That’s what “Getaway Car” is about.
OR: I am not sure that’s true?
ZS: So the drama…
OR: I definitely have had experiences in my life that inspired “drivers license” but, no… it’s not a direct comment on a failed relationship.
ZS: I’m not sure what you’re referring to.
OR: What? People think the song is about a man I used to date? Isn’t that what you’re talking about?
ZS: No- I’m talking about the upcoming drama that the song will bring on. About how you don’t drive a hybrid and don’t care about the environment.
OR: Wait, what? I do care about the environment? I just said I did. Can we just keep my mom’s car brand out of this?
ZS: How do you feel about Tesla?
OR: I think they create sick cars that are good for the earth? I don’t know.
ZS: What about how Tesla’s murdered an unidentifiable amount of former child star Jamie Lynn Spears’s cats?
OR: What the fuck?
ZS: This is a 100% true story. Jamie Lynn Spears blames Elon Musk for the death of “ — I don’t want to tell you how many cats” — because they don’t hear the Tesla rev up.
OR: Oh my god- I didn’t know anything about that, but I am so sorry for her loss. I loved Zoey 101.
ZS: Were you even alive when Zoey 101 was on?
OR: I was born in 2003.
ZS: So, you weren’t alive for 9/11?
OR: No.
ZS: Interesting. Your songwriting ages you. “drivers license” definitely sounds like the story of someone who watched the towers go down.
OR: Thank you?
ZS: That’s a huge compliment. Is that what caused some of the angst between you and Joshua Bassett.
OR: I’m not really interested in answering that question.
ZS: Totally, but I can imagine how those fights would play out. He’s driving you in his white car, and he’s telling you about what it was like to be alive for 9/11, and you are getting upset because you weren’t there.
OR: That just isn’t true.
ZS: What isn’t? You’re saying 9/11 didn’t happen?
OR: What? No?
ZS: Wow, I knew Holocaust deniers existed but I guess now that there are people who were born after 2001 coming of age a whole wave of 9/11 deniers are coming.
OR: Can you please stop?
ZS: Wow, you really are a wack job about this. I might be on Joshua’s side. Is that what his new song “Lie Lie Lie” is about? The fact that you think 9/11 is a lie?
OR: Can you please stop? I do not think 9/11 was a lie. This is really making me uncomfortable.
ZS: I mean Olivia- I remember it vividly. I was sitting in my kitchen with my au pair. She was watching the news coverage pour in, and I just wanted her to play with me. And she was just glued to the TV.
OR: I am… sorry that happened?
ZS: Did you have any au pairs growing up?
OR: No, I did not.
ZS: Then who drove you around?
OR: My mom?
ZS: Weird. I think if I wrote “drivers license,” it would be a completely different song because I grew up with au pairs.
OR: Okay…
ZS: Anyway, back to conspiracy theories. Joshua Bassett and Sabrina Carpenter have been on a blitz releasing songs that appear to be direct reactions to your hit. Care to comment?
OR: Do you have a question about it or?
ZS: No.
OR: Did you go to journalism school? I’m confused.
ZS: No, I have a bachelors of science degree in television.
OR: Oh, sick I guess.
ZS: Why do you keep saying sick?
OR: Like sick, cool? Trendy?
ZS: Did you test COVID negative before driving to New York for this interview?
OR: I did, I am not sick. Do you think saying “sick” is some kind of code for saying that I am currently sick with COVID-19?
ZS: I didn’t say it but you just did.
OR: Well I don’t actively have COVID.
ZS: Wouldn’t that be convenient though? Sabrina and Joshy start getting the narrative back so you get COVID to get the sympathy?
OR: I am pretty sure I still have all the sympathy.
ZS: So you admit it!
OR: No, I am just saying. My song is still #1. People are still feeling the emotions of “drivers license.”
ZS: You still haven’t commented on Sabrina Carpenter’s song “Skin.”
OR: You still haven’t asked me about it.
ZS: Ask.
OR: What?
ZS: Ask about it.
OR: That’s not a question? Are you okay?
ZS: No, Olivia, are YOU okay?
OR: Yes! I am great!
ZS: I know you are, huge fan. But how do you feel about Marjorie Taylor Greene getting stripped of her committee assignments?
OR: Oh, I think it was a good choice for sure. She’s a crazy conspiracy theorist.
ZS: And you aren’t? I mean I have you on the record in this interview saying 9/11 doesn’t exist, lying about having COVID, and that I didn’t grow up with au pairs?
OR: What? Pull the tape? I did not say any of that?
ZS: Really? Then admit that Joshua Bassett’s “Lie Lie Lie” is not about your own 9/11 denialism and Sabrina Carpenter’s “Skin” is about the long haul effects of COVID-19 on people’s skin?
OR: I am not a conspiracy theorist! Would a conspiracy theorist support the Green New Deal? I proved you wrong when you said I am a climate denialist!
ZS: Good point. But, how do I know this isn’t just some ploy to take down your biggest competitor?
OR: I actually care about the environment! I don’t know what you want me to say!
ZS: Olivia please. If you don’t I will be forced to publish all of this with a comment from her.
OR: Who? Sabrina Carpenter?
ZS: No.
OR: Millie Bobbie Brown.
ZS: Greta Thunberg.
OR: Please, you can’t.
ZS: You leave me with no choice.
OR: But - then people will know that…
ZS: That what?
OR: That…
ZS: That… what Olivia?
OR: That… I CAN’T SAY IT!
ZS: THAT SHE GHOSTWROTE “DRIVERS LICENSE” AND SHE IS IN A THROUPLE WITH SABRINA CARPENTER AND JOSHUA BASSETT?
OR: PLEASE! YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE!
ZS: YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO THE TRUTH O,LIVIA!
OR: FINE. I AM THE ONE WHO “DIDN’T MEAN WHAT I WROTE IN THAT SONG ABOUT YOU” BECAUSE IT WASN’T ABOUT ME! IT WAS ABOUT GRETA THUNBERG!
ZS: Perfect.
OR: Can I go now?
ZS: Yeah but, can I get a ride back to my apartment? I don’t have my driver’s license.
Please remember that this is all satire and a huge lie so please do not sue me. I am not interested in Disney’s expensive lawyers coming after me. If you happened to enjoy this nonsense, please consider sharing it with your friends.